Separation in the age of the internet

We undoubtedly live in a digital age. We bank on-line, we shop on-line and we gamble on-line. Email and text message are prominent forms of communication. We download music, movies and television. We read blogs and we write blogs. And we socialise on-line.

Around the world over 800,000,000 people actively use Facebook – over 55% of the Australian population has a Facebook profile. Twitter has over 500,000,000 registered users generating over 340 million tweets daily. We don’t just socialise on-line … we love to socialise on-line.

With so many people sharing so much on sites like Facebook and Twitter it can be easy to forget that these sites are not private – they are in the public domain. You may be able to control your privacy settings but by their very nature you are sharing information with many other people and that information can passed on and shared beyond your control.

In increasing number the internet, and in particular social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter, are implicated in the breakdown of marriages and relationships.

A UK study indicated that one-third of divorce cases in England implicated Facebook – the 5,000 people polled cited three grounds: inappropriate messages sent to the opposite sex prior to separation, friends disclosing a spouse’s behavior (either prior to or after separation), and negative comments about each other posted after separation. And once litigation starts social media continues to play a paramount role to bolster claims of financial irresponsibility and parental deficits. A study by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers found that in the past 5 years 80% of divorce matters included social media posts, mostly from Facebook.

So is there a way to combine family law and social networking?

Before you post anything ask yourself “How would I feel receiving this message?”

Avoid negative comments. Avoid sarcasm. Avoid personal remarks. Avoid threats.

And while we are on things to avoid ... family law is an intensely private and personal matter so maybe ask yourself if your comments should be put on social media at all – instead would it be better, if it really needs to be said, to instead email or text? If the other party has said something on social media, think carefully about whether you need to respond and whether that response would be better sent to them privately (text or email) and if you feel you need to defend your character to others – not everyone in their contacts list, just the people who matter to you - whether you could do that in private messages to them.